November 2010
9 posts
Take it sleazy Zoo York
I speak to the city,
And preach an escape.
From the dull confines of limbo,
A way out is uncovered.
Tunnels into prison.
Possibilities litter the streets,
All leading down the same avenue.
Confusion.
Regret.
Death.
I dream of legends
In grungy metropolis.
Following omens
To the heart of inspiration.
For once feeling something,
I derange my senses
In search of reality
To see things as they...
Who Am I?
A former upstanding, god-fearing citizen.
An ex-herd member.
A broken cog in the machinery.
The rebellious first born,
An immigrant’s son
Lost in a land of insanity.
A non-believer with no faith in humanity.
I smoke ‘cause I know it’s bad for me
I drink whiskey ‘cause I like the taste of poison
And I do drugs because they’re illegal.
I drive a shitty car
And it reeks of booze and...
The Deconstruction of a God Awful Song
The song “Escape,” written and performed by Rupert Holmes, and horribly re-dubbed “The Pina Colada Song,” after it was featured on the soundtrack to “Shrek,” is by all accounts a terrible song. A guilty pleasure at best. Barely music. It’s the kind of interminable dross that lonely housewives enjoy just as much as their soap operas and boxed wine. It’s a song for people who say that they “Just...
The animal that drank sound is dead,
A deafening silence to follow.
Laying fallen by it’s own hand,
The guilt of wealth and ebony,
No way to staunch the pain.
It’s beauty unseen,
It’s wonder unheard.
Until now.
Too late.
Crucified on a syringe,
The Bird is dead.
Screw Total
I hate healthy cereals. Not because they’re full of life-elongating vitamins and fiber to keep you regular. Not because of my childish demeanor that dictates I’m not supposed to like things that are good for me. Not even because they taste like prison ass, but because they’re sold to you through false advertising. Allow me to explain.
I love to eat Lucky Charms. They truly are magically...
If I Can't Beat Off Then The Terrorists Win
A new law was passed recently which officially banned masturbating on international flights. It’s a strangely specific piece of legislation, and normally I’d be content to just laugh at the fact that the government actually spent time and tax dollars on this benign subject, but they’re going to be classifying this action as a felony, so as an avid masturbator, I have to defend my civil...
tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?
Welcome!
Well hello there! I didn’t see you standing seductively in the doorway. Welcome to my humble blog. Come in, come in! Sit down, and make yourself comfortable. Maybe slip into something a little more revealing. Then fix yourself a drink at the bar, and allow me to put on some music to set the tone, for I am about to make sweet and prolific love to your brain.
A word of caution though, as you...
